Crisis in Alaska !

Once again we are reminded that a harsh winter is approaching, just look at the fake snow that the producers spread everywhere to convince us how close to danger the Browns are to a certain death from not having a wind turbine …

A short flashback from last week shows how the pet bear escaped his cage and is wandering around destroying things. Matt and Bear go on high alert status and grab the guns, but never actually see anything, because of course, it is all made up. The bear film is at least two years old by now and getting old.

Bear is still wearing his pimp fur coat and we get a recap on the turbine fiasco from last week. Billy rambles on about the turbine, the broke mill, the embarrassment that is his life for awhile and then goes to take a nap.

We find out Wes is coming with the new turbine parts and the Browns cannot meet their ridiculous claim of trading 5000 bf of lumber for the needed items, Wes is gonna be so mad…

Now we are informed that Matt and Bam did a barter job at Prince of Wales Island and were paid in a bunch of highly valuable cedar planks. Sure they did, why is this very important point now being discussed ? To obviously fit into the story of the turbine. The writers must be smoking something legal in Alaska, a lot…

Bear now proceeds to jump around the campfire (and the ‘rasslin’ mats are now magically back on the logs), in order to paint the tail of the turbine in a flame pattern. Nice paint, were in the hell did that  paint come from ?

Now Noah breaks free to run up to Hoonah to see his gal (90 minutes to get there this week, only 20 last week), and she has seen the light and is moving back to Oregon. He now has the dilemma of letting her go, or asking her to move into the ghetto cult to share the chicken shack with him… What will happen ?

The mark (Wes) arrives a little late and the deal is done, they actually give Bam’s wood away to cut the deal justifying that is what Bam would have wanted. I think Bam wouldn’t give a rat’s ass what these idiots do now that he has left. And the boards that the chumps actually cut on that silly mini bike mill looked like they were cut on a professional mill. And there were about a dozen or so of them. What a bunch of nonsense, all that drama and crisis for a pile of lumber they most certainly did not even cut….

Billy is thrilled though, another scam nicely executed !

The rest of this sad show is spent putting together the turbine, looking for non existent rogue bears and reminiscing about Bam… When they are ready to raise the tower Noah is in charge and yells ‘Avante” like a douche while almost everyone else works.

Success at last as the turbine is up and stays perfectly still as the chumps jump around congratulating themselves… Finally after the cult members go back to there shacks the turbine is spinning like a top at least 200 MPH…  with no wind blowing through the trees whatsoever… I mean , come on, you are not even trying anymore …

Till next season…


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