Aired 12-15-2017

‘Home Away For The Holidays’

Well, it has been 4 long months since we last saw the family of the Browns, and we were all anxiously awaiting to see what else they have up their sleeves. Then they aired this low interest ‘special’ of what they do for Christmas… lovely…

First though a little clarification, 

1) They are nowhere near Alaska

2) They are not in the bush any longer

3) They are resembling caricatures of people, not actual people

4) This was filmed in August or September, so it is not even Christmas

So….

The title should be ‘Southern California Homeless Bums Acting Like It Is Christmas In August Or September’

With that, let’s continue…

We start with it looks like Noah and Gabe throwing a football around in the backyard, it is Noah’s only appearance in the show, he is referred to in some of the ever increasing flashback scenes which now dominate most of the episodes…

For some odd reason we see Bam reciting ‘The Night Before Xmas’ back in the ghetto they built in Alaska, I guess to put everyone watching into the Christmas spirit, even though it is not Christmas…

The two girls, Snow (still no dental work) and Rain (thinned down and turning Gothic), tell Billy they want to surprise Ami with Christmas decorations and a tree and a dinner. Billy agrees it would be a surprise for Ami (especially since it is not Christmas) and says with a straight face that “Ami doesn’t have a clue what is going on”, Captain Obvious this guy…

So now we have the start of the talking head interviews with the various imbeciles who populate this program, Bear appears in a shiny purple disco shirt from the early 80’s and talks about something, I can’t recall what he said, I was just staring at the idiotic shirt he was wearing.

So Bear and Bam and the girls go to the tree farm in a nice looking mini van to find the Christmas tree. In the back seat of the van, Bear starts the FLASHBACK train up in full steam by remembering what different types of food they ate every Christmas, and the fact that they celebrated Christmas when ever they felt like it, in many different locations.

For some reason they start unloading the FLASHBACK biography stories of each individual member of the family. First up is the missing Noah, shown to be 3 states away doing some sort of Yoga  next to a lake with his squeeze. And the comedy highlight statement of last years season, he wants to be a town sheriff somewhere.

Now the ambiguousness of the jerks trying to find a tree. Look for the temperature being shown of 97° next to the snowman. First off, there is no one else there, CAUSE IT AIN’T CHRISTMAS, and then they act all superior about ‘having’ to buy a tree and IT’S SO WEIRD !!! Next they play hide and seek in the farm, Bear climbs a tree and so on… Someone mentions Matt isn’t feeling well (I guess to explain his absence, he is probably at the local strip club stuffing g-strings full of dollar bills), which leads to FLASHBACKS of Matt… zzzzzzz

Who gets to cut down the tree ??? According to family tradition, someone each year is chosen or ordered or volunteers to cut it down, which leads into a MINI FLASHBACK, finally the Gothic child is shown sawing a tree down – big effing woop…

And since Rain cut it down we see the Rain FLASHBACK…

Back to the landlord’s nightmare, or the rental house the Browns stay in, they are ready to decorate and make the ever famous and traditional Christmas meal, spaghetti ?!?! It looks like tomatoes and onions and noodles, wow, now I know if I ever get invited to their August Christmas meal I can say I am going to a baseball game or something instead, sorry… And then Bear is shown making what appears to be mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes and spaghetti ? Right, everyone’s favorite Christmas dinner… sad, just plain sad

On to Bam’s FLASHBACK bio…

Setting up table outside leads into Snowflake’s FLASHBACK…..

Finally we get to see the scarecrow being wheeled into the hospital by Billy and Gabe (Hooray !!! Gabe made it to the location for filming), we see the paid extra (posing as Dr Wong) tell us absolutely nothing about Ami’s condition other than she weighs about as much as wet dog. All filmed in an extremely good stage set that actually looks like a hospital examination room ! NOT !!!!   Gabe is gone, back to his auditions for WWF wrestling tryouts and that, unfortunately, is that…

Now on to the Billy and Ami FLASHBACK extravaganza ….. the Gospel according to Billy Brown…

Bear gets bitten by Cupcake the mangy dog and, wait for it, now the inevitable Cupcake FLASHBACK story, IN FULL COLOR ! 

Finally, food is on the table, and bring in the matriarch, wow, is she surprised about a Christmas dinner and tree and decorations in August. Wouldn’t you be ? I bet the neighbors are also wondering WTF is going on with the retards next door…

FLASHBACKS !!!

“Ready for another adventure” announces Billy, how bought Easter in January, 4th of July in November, Labor Day every day !!! Why not, we are the effing Browns !!!

Light the tree !!! It’s Christmas !!! NOT !!!

AH WOOOOOOOO !!!!!

More…

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