Alaskan Bush People s 03-ep 19

The Brown’s Fake Christmas in Alaska

What is wrong with this picture…?


Let us all ignore the fact that this was filmed in August (no snow, short

sleeves, leaves on trees, sunlight) and celebrate a Christmas with

television’s biggest scam artists and losers that just will not go



Get the paid extras to pretend that these Brown creeps are their long

lost friends, put them on a boat to the Brown dump and then pump

them with cash to longingly marvel at the way these bums live their

pathetic life… If that isn’t bad enough, force them to pretend that it is

actually Christmas time and to sit and reminince about Billy and his

golden family.


We once again hear Big Bill talk about the 30 year struggle after his

parents tragic demise, to attain a shack in the woods with a bunch of

unemployed and uneducated morons that he lovingly calls his children.

He pines on about wishing his father could see him now living his

fabulous and exceptional dream of dreams. Is this guy delusional or

what ? 30 friggin years to live like bums in a shanty that most folks

would run from screaming into the night ?


Ok, the annoying announcer does mention that the idiots don’t

celebrate Christmas like normal people, they just make up crap as it

passes through them. It can be July or March, but hey, it’s Christmas

time in Brown town… I’ll bet the real Christmas is spent in Vegas at a

luxury suite, or on the coast gazing at the waves while the Rolexes and

Tiffiny jewelry are passed around…


Let’s follow the extreme mental case Bear and his dentist free sister

Bird on a duck hunt in the outdoors. They tie up the johnboat and

everyone instantly knows that it is wrong wrong wrong… After taking

several hundred shots at the paid extra ducks that were flown in for

filming, we walk back to the boat and, yep, the idiots screwed up

again. Doesn’t matter that they have lived their whole life next to

water and around boats, they can’t be expected to bring enough rope

and to tie up a boat properly… But of course the extreme Bear also

teaches us that some people actually use a device called a ‘duck blind’

to successfully hunt ducks… Wow, I wrote that down in case I ever go

duck hunting…


Matt is back !!! No one cares !!!


Extremely stupid Bear takes the hillbilly under his wing and teaches

him to hang from a rope, howl mindlessly at the moon and how to

start a fire with a Bic lighter… They must have paid the hillbilly extra

cash to somehow keep a straight face…


And even the commercials were filled with the Browns as they are set

to debut another season in January, I almost cried, wait, I’ll admit it, I

did cry…


Let’s buy some knives in town and other worthless looking junk, and

say that we made them with our own two hands, and at the end of the

show give them to whoever has their hand out and pretend to be

amazed at the junk… Or rip apart a plastic tub (that used to be part of a greenhouse, yea we didn’t forget about that elephant in the room…),

put on a piece of rope and call it a sled. But being that it is August, it

appears Matt is still hammered and forgot that sleds need snow.

Merry Christmas to all… What will 2017 bring ?

Back to HOME



Tell me what you think....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s