Aired 8-9-2017

  We are reminded that this is unfolding in real time, 8 weeks ago. It was 8 weeks ago three episodes ago, and 6 weeks ago two episodes ago… Special time passes in ‘Alaskan Bush People’… Anywayyyyyy…… 

      In Alaska, Bear is packing up stuff that is basically a pile of junk while in SoCal the others mourn of being displaced in the lower 48. They sound like refugees who are running from some war or political persecution for almighty sakes. Wake up retards !!! You went to California of your own volition, so quit crying about it and do something else !!!

     As Snowball and Rainyday pack junk in boxes, Bear tells a blue barrel to ‘run free’… What a jerkwad…

      Back in CA, the nice nurse explains to Ami and Billy (and us) the treatment that Ami will finally after 10 weeks will be receiving to combat her cancer… ‘Bout time they get around to helping the old lady, what was the holdup ? Getting 16,000 pounds of salmon to barter for chemo and radiation ? And then Rain is seen throwing a kiss to mom when she is supposed to be Alaska helping to pack…  Continuity mistake or Rain has a twin…

      In Alaska, old friend ‘Trapper’ shows up to help do something but we never really gather what it is he helps with. Bear explains the need to get the turbine on the Integrity and shows us the most important part of the turbine, the plywood fake generator and broken props. We are also told that they have only 4 days to do all this packing and moving, and I for one was wondering what is the big rush ? Are the cameras due back at the production studio ? Is the lease up on B-town ? The girls roam the woods looking for ‘Devil’s Club’ to take back to mom to make some witches brew for old time sake. Then Snowflake gives an Emmy wanna be speech on leaving the cult location in Alaska, tears and throat lumps all around…

     In CA, Matt tries to tell his story of exploding refrigerators to an absolutely disgusted Billy, and we still never really find out what happened that night in Alaska with Matt and the fridge. Matt acts all remorseful, but in the next scene (without Billy) he is back to his annoying self. Billy also sits and listens to Matt while he has a glass of Coke with ice in front of him… How Bush !!!!!!!

     ‘Trapper’ arrives for the second time (I didn’t know he left the first time) and tells Bear of some rubes up the shore who will actually buy the Integrity. Bear needs to talk to the others about this mind-blowing escalation of events. Snowdrift and Bear discuss the matter while Raincoat remains noticeably quiet on the sidelines. Are we seeing the reality of Rain not giving a shit anymore ? With all the talk of the boat, we have to have… FLASHBACKS !!!! Yes, flashbacks, the long time staple of the ‘Alaska Bush People’, without them, the show would only be 10 minutes long, and the truly insane storyline would not be stitched together in the most tidy of fashion…

     Now we are told only 3 days left to pack the trash and skedaddle the state of Alaska ( I wonder if the real Alaskans who live there, are all prepared to let loose a huge party when these low life scum leave the state for good). Bear can’t sleep in his treehouse because the wimmin (sic) need protecting from the wild murderous bears roaming the landscape in search of white people meat. Yet a few minutes ago we saw the same wimmin (sic) walking around the woods far from the homestead gathering weeds to feed mom back in CA. And I haven’t seen any bears yet this episode anyhow… Note to writers, get your actors on the same page before they blurt out nonsense like this…

     Matt in CA is feeling like a failure for good reason, he is one. Unemployed, alcoholic, brain injured and brain dead, hasn’t ever been laid etc etc… So he decides to redeem himself by spending a whole 30 seconds fixing a slat on the fence on the place they have been squatting at. Without tools !!! I am impressed… Not with Matt, but with the Discovery Channel actually filming this and then showing this on national TV as some sort of a lesson to be learned… And I mean impressed with their complete stupidity…

    OMG !!!! Bear Sees A Bear !!!! We are once again led to believe that Extreme Bear is chasing away a deadly predator… Once again I truly believe that these are trained, declawed, toothless, bear pets that are dropped off for the scene, and then led back to their cages with the enticement of Purina-Bear-Chow, and released into someone’s animal petting zoo. I would wager the bear is now being played with by a 12 year old, 85 pound tween, and the bear’s name is Mr.Tickles… But Bear now carries a shotgun around at all times for protection, he claims, but in the very next scenes the gun is nowhere to be seen. Wow, what a bunch of bear shit….

     Back in CA, Matt is building a tattoo pen (he said he got the plans to build one from a friend, what friend ? where ???) to give himself a tat to match mommys, and he is using gunk from the BBQ mixed with water to use as ink, and he gives himself a dot of a tattoo, and then he says he will go in the house in front of a mirror and do the rest and no one cares and that is the last we see of this insane scene…. Why, please explain WHY, do they go through all that trouble to show us this crap, and then we never actually get to see the end result of their labors ??? Later Matt is shown inventing a game with knives and Bam shows up and we hear Matt complain basically of there being nothing to do. You know, why not get a job, go to the beach, go see a movie, go to a museum, go to the mall, eat out in a fast food joint, play some PS4, etc… Nope, gotta stay there and moan about nothing to do, what a bunch of idiots…

     The north idiots are busy loading a cannon, of all things, on the Integrity. As Bear, Snowstorm and Raindrop work furiously to lift the load onto the boat, we are shown an immense storm of the century heading their way, yet as they load the cannon the skies are at once clear and sunshiny and then cloudy and then sunshine again. The storm never does seem to hit. And why is that cannon being loaded on the boat for, they themselves say it is extremely dangerous, and they are looking death in the eye and such. And for sitting out in the Alaskan weather for who knows how long, the paint looked pretty fresh… But the churls do get it loaded…

     So usher in the paid extra family to act like wannabe bush people and they want to buy the boat… FLASHBACKS !!!!… and then Bear says the boat ain’t for sale. Well they sure wasted that poor family’s time, now the paid extras have to get back in their 55 foot yacht, and travel back to their 3 bedroom condo in Juneau and wait for their next role in a reality show. Meanwhile Bear runs back to the shack and beats on some stupid acetylene tanks that have been cut in half, and hung up by Noah, till the camera crew has it’s shot.

     Back in the never-ending storyline of Ami, cancer and Billy never getting his fat ass off the bed, we are again reminded this is real time and BLAH BLAH BLAH…. Kinda makes me wonder why they sell this drama soooo hard, I sometimes wonder after scenes like this, that Billy and Ami hop out of that bed as soon as the cameras are turned off and go golfing, and then hit a Texas Roadhouse on the way home… haha

     In Alaska the paid actors are still there looking at the boat, and I was wondering what they were still doing there. Low and behold, Bear announces that they can have they Integrity and everything for free. HUGE plot twist here !!! The paid extras cry for joy, then smile, then get on home to their condo in Juneau and start filling out applications for other extra acting jobs…

And in all this nonsense, we never see Noah, what is the story behind that, did he get hired by Stanford to be a perfesser (sic), did he accept a $300,000 job in Silicone Valley, is he on staff now at Ami’s hospital doing cancer research ??? Or did he sleep late and miss filming, and no one noticed the fat moron wasn’t there ???

     They mentioned upcoming episodes so I assume the Discovery Channel has more drivel to broadcast. I understand that this is the last episode for this season so who knows when we will meet again….

     MORE…. or less

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13 thoughts on “Episode #6 – ‘Bush Code”

  1. Just saw the episode. We all know, Discovery never really tried to make this anything but a shitshow, but damn, it’s like some producer had “bring your retarded kid to work”-day, and just put the kid in charge!
    I don’t know where to start really, but heres a couple of points that really grinds my gears ;
    – the integrity is all Billy ever wanted. Just that? Not a Browntown or anything? Okaaay…
    – the three amigos who share a brain have to pack a lifetime of possessions. Wait, I thought they lost all those when the old boat sank..
    – billy talking to matt about “accident”:”you know what I say: DUH!” What the hell?? And matt apparently almost died. But let’s not make a big fuss about it.
    – bear collecting noahs metal crap. “Gotta get rid of all the trash that doesn’t belong in the forest “. Ouch. Amazing backhanded diss to Noah.
    – the gun will only scare a bear away for so long. Yet they ALWAYS pack heat when bears “attack”.
    – kids are in California for “support”, yet we never see them with Ami. They are just there bitching about being there with nothing to do, and in the same sentence waxing on about they are there to support her. So that’s nothing.
    -how many times do we hear them say variations of “sell the boat??” And just to give it away for free. So they “hauled” so many important cargos, and “worked” so many crucial jobs, yet they can readily just give away their boat. Granted the integrity probably isn’t worth shit anyway, but still.
    – they sure are quickly convinced, that that new family is a real bush family. Didn’t take them two minutes, before bear was quite sure. Then again, how would he know a bush family?
    – why don’t they just give the new bush family their Browntown dump?

    Oh and great recap, and I agree; the second the cameras are off, Ami gets out the sangria and its party time!
    Great line with the whole “salmon/chemo-barter”. 😂 I laughed my ass off.

    I also like how they are planning things to do with Ami after treatment. Like theres no chance she might die. I know its a sympathy scam, and they are lying through their teeth, but still…

    But great recap as usual. Thankfully not as many flashbacks this time. More “brown brain fails” instead. Much better. ☺️
    Oh and did we see noah or gabe at all??

    Oh well, why should any of them make any effort? Seems like a waste to start now. ☺️

    C-ya. Peace. 😎🤘🏻

    Like

    1. hgoenge81…. Now that made me laugh !!! 😂

      Did not see Noah, did not even notice Gabe missing, I don’t think he was in any scenes either…good catch..,

      In some of the earlier episodes the kids would crowd around Ami on her deathbed and visit, but that seems to have come to a quick conclusion. Now if someone can remove Billy from that bed…

      The attacking bears scenario is really getting pretty lame IMO, just once, JUST ONCE, I would like to see, PAY TO SEE, one of those bears run full blast into Bear, knocking him down and tearing the bejesus shit out of him…. Then stand the idiot up and let him drone on about attacking bears… The look on his face would be priceless…

      More

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha yeah, Id love to see Tackleberry the Bear just ram, full force into his scrawny ass. The second that idiot realized that no amount of howling or monkeyclimbing pussywillows would save him, would be PRICELESS. 😂😂

    More!! (Hahaha why did it take so long for us to start more-ing???😂)

    Like

  3. hgoenge81…

    “– they sure are quickly convinced, that that new family is a real bush family. Didn’t take them two minutes, before bear was quite sure. Then again, how would he know a bush family?”.

    Bear’s version of being bush is rolling in mud, flailing around like a retarded munchkin on speed, and having the fashion sense of a 1985 Romanian disco nerd.
    I’m fearful that parkslop will focus on bear in the future episodes. Bam and gabe want no part of it, Noah is probably splitting atoms or making cold fusion a reality, and Matt might to close to a lethal overdose for them to focus on.

    I’m still waiting for the new spin-off of the “Colorado Carney Clan” to premiere. Featuring the Brown’s bringing their traveling freakshow to the lower 48. The family will focus on growing marijuana to sustain poor old Ami, while side-show Billy is continuously sampling the harvest to make sure it’s good enough for ma. Bear can do some extreme skiing and Noah can perform lifesaving surgery to the extreme skier.

    Keep up the good work…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Haha yeah. Or perhaps theyll make their own brand of idiocy global with “accident-prone sideshow buckteeth bonanza worldwide”.
      I sure as shit will be guarding the borders of Denmark with a dictionary to thump bear with and a “nothing to climb/no foilage to eat here”-sign 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Make sure to hide the boats and meth cabins on the shore as they will try to inhabit one or the other… It will take a much larger book than a dictionary to thump Bear into reality, try a bowling ball or a table leg…

        😎

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting that someone actually thought Bear genius enough to head the dismantling of B-town. Between rolling in the mud and punching salmons, guess he truly is the “smart one.”

    Maybe when the Clan move to Colorado, Matt can switch from whiskey to pot and hold on to a brain cell.
    Doubt it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Haha yeah pretty amazing that the offspring with clearly the most adhd and the two physically weakest of the clan gets put in charge of that. 😂
      Guess it suits the show. Imagine they suddenly made intelligent decisions. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

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