Aired 6-28-2017


  How does one even start to describe this episode ? For awhile I have been writing recaps, and they pretty much all made fun of the Brown family, and their quest to live in the wild/bush of Alaska. Their crazy ideas and inconsistent ways of doing things were fodder for me and others who watch this, and then go to the web based forums to analyze their actions, speech, clothes and whatever else.

    I started watching the show based on the ads Discovery put out describing a family trying to live in the Alaskan Bush and I thought that was pretty cool. Until I actually watched these idiots stumbling around acting goofy and then I was sorely disappointed at the whole premise and began to write about it.

     And this is definitely not what I, as a viewer, want to see, I want to see a family braving the elements of Alaska portrayed as truthfully as possible without all the wolf calls, inventions, dog fur jewelry and the rest that makes Alaskan Bush People such a huge joke. So let’s move on to the recent episode and see what is happening to the Brown’s this week.

   The fate of Browntown is at risk !!! OMG !!! It is unfolding in real time we are told, and we are captivated by it all. In Alaska Noah is doing some target shooting with a Ruger GP100, and the revolver itself looks mighty good. We never get to actually see the accuracy, since it is a paper target and what fun is that for shooting ? Set up a tin can or something so we can see the hits… Noah explains how he is all alone (except a dozen Discovery production crew members) and has no idea what is going on with the cultists in California, especially Ami and her sickness. And now we get the first installment of Noah and his predicament. 

    In California (Browntown South), Billy and the family get ready to haul poor Ami to the test center for more tests or results of more tests. It is explained that she got sick months ago and has got nothing but worse, yet it took them this long to get some medical attention. Matt and Bear stay behind to watch for them to come back, Bear sits high in a tree and Matt skulks around mumbling some stuff, ‘This is an alien world’, ‘This sucks’ etc…Bear explains he has no fear, except now that mom is sick, that he is afraid. The others arrive home and you can see things did not go well. 

   OK, very quickly,  we are informed that Ami has stage 3 cancer of the lungs and more treatment and tests are in the future. 

   On a personal note, I am a cancer survivor myself, went through radiation and it was about the worst period of my life. I had a major operation and I can only blame myself, I smoked almost 30+ years, and the day I woke up from the operation, I quit smoking entirely. So, Ami and the Browns, my prayers are with you, and I wish the best for all of you in this absolute time of uncertainty.

   When Billy brings Ami back, he is driving a (new?) white SUV, where did that come from ? And another vehicle in the driveway is there, too. Didn’t you all spend the last 4 years trying to convince us that you are pretty much broke ? And of course the house that you are staying in and on and on, what is with that ? When Ami is set on the bed, I noticed again the stuffed animals above her head on a shelf, and one of them is blurred out, why ? Little things like that just make me wonder, why not just move it out of camera range rather than draw our attention to it ? Oh well… The dog on the bed, send Cupcake outside, unless he brings some sort of comfort to Ami. And what was that pile of brown ‘stuff’ at the foot of the bed, someone watching the show with me speculated it may have been her fringed jacket, looked like a bunch of brown fabric ripped up to me, anyone out there have any ideas what it was ?

   FLASHBACKS !!! What is ABP without the remembering the great times as a family, Ami’s turn this time, and she says as she packs up to leave, ‘Got my gun, my bible, I’m ready’, I like that… Talking head time for Ami, and she looks better than before, and seems upbeat, good for her.

    Alaska and Noah time, the fantasy continues. He rigs up the wind turbine to provide electricity for the house. OK, I call bullshit. It all seemed so improbable last year, and still does this year. Anyway, the lights are on.

    In Browntown south, the discussion turns to the ultimate turn of events, with Ma sick, Browntown north will have to be abandoned. Billy describes it as earth shattering, as if they actually lived their more than a few weeks a year anyway. Ami pines on about the rainforest and wanting the kids to grow up in the bush (at this point in time, I think they did) and wanting to hold granbabies. Billy chimes in and says ‘they had a home wherever they started a campfire, never had a real structure we could consider a home’. Yea, and whose fault is that Mr. Brown ?

    FLASHBACKS !!! Time to hit the bathroom and fill up the glass with water… BRB…

   In Alaska, Noah receives word (via UHF… UHF ?, can’t they just say radio ?), that Matt is on his way there, and after he arrives, Matt tells him bad news about mom. He says they as a family need to move south, and to get packed up and get the ‘big ticket items’, what would that be ? Big ticket items ? The guns maybe… I guess… Matt will stay and Noah needs to go see mom. He starts to clean the accumulated junk from his lab, and we watch as he goes through his ‘inventions’, and throws most in a pile for the critters up there to sort out.

    In SoCal, the Snowball is out loose in the street making ridiculous noises and trying to attract a peacock that the producers have set down in the vicinity. The peacock comes close and eats some food that Snowflake has set out. Two birdbrains in one scene. The production staff chases the peacock down and returns it to the trainer who rented it out to Discovery.

   Back in Alaska, classical music is playing from an old record player as Noah gets ready to….

    FLASHBACKS !!! Time to let the dog out and check my email…

    Matt runs from big spiders, and then Noah and Matt play a new sport that Noah has invented called ‘Triumph’. They throw some things at each other, while dressed in idiotic outfits, and it is soon over (BTW, Noah claims he won, but I think he cheated). Then on to some knife throwing, which I thought was pretty cool, even if it was edited to only show the throws that actually stuck. 

    California again, BAM IS COMING !!! FLASHBACKS !!! Find some tortilla chips and salsa and sit back down…

    Bam has a good visit with his mother, Ami says she is having a good day. Billy and Bam talk awhile and they discuss the situation… Pretty touching actually, I like Bam, he seems to have the most common sense and the least showboating attitude.

   Alaska… Matt and Noah in the skiff looking for crab cages and succeeding in catching some, on to the grill and I got hungry for some crab legs as I watched !

    SoCal… Bam has a talk with Snowbird, who seems to be in denial, She insists mom is going to be fine… Let’s all hope so …

   Alaska… Noah leaves the northern ghetto (maybe for last time) while Matt and his dirty face stay behind…  AH Woooooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!

   Next time on ABP, Matt gets hurt !!!!!!!!

             MORE …..

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