Watching television has become confusing over the years. I have watched TV my whole life and I always wonder “WHY?” in certain situations. So bear with me as I again ask WHY⁉️⁉️
👉 I’ll start with the question asked on a FB page dedicated to the Alaskan Bush People and their nonsense. Here is the link to the page if you want to check it out. It asked the question why the weather men, during a hurricane, on the news channels, stand in 30 MPH winds and act like they are getting knocked down by the winds. It actually does seem that way. I have been through several hurricanes and it is not pretty, but also, the news reports did seem to make it a whole lot worse that it actually was. I assume the constant reporting is to warn the locals of the dangers of flooding associated with the storm that deserves the most attention. I saw most damage from the flooding than anything else when I was involved in a hurricane. I remembered getting calls from concerned family members out of harms way asking if I was OK. Hell, most of the time I was just watching the TV and eating take out pizza that was delivered when they called.
👉 Football games… I like football, I usually watch a game or two a week, college and pro. Ok, please tell me why the players cannot get a drink of water, or gatorade, or whatever is in those containers, themselves. I would love to be paid to squirt the liquid in the players mouths for $20 an hour. I mean, what a golden job that must be. And then there must be 4 guys who always run out there to give those lazy millionaires a drink. What do the players do at home ? Have a lackey follow them around with a gatorade bottle ?
When the football players leave the field, they always seem to remove the helmet and put on a BASEBALL hat… Why don’t baseball players, when they go to the dugout, take off the baseball hat and put on a helmet, or a hockey mask ?
Football is measured in yards, baseball and golf in feet, track and field and swimming/diving in meters… Can’t they all be the same ?
The kicker in football invariably has a mismatched pair of cleats on. Why can’t they sell him the same color shoes to begin with.
Every first down, every sack, every missed catch is celebrated to no end by a certain player or two. I mean the guy(s) just go nuts like they just won the Super Duper Bowl. I always watched Walter Payton with pride at the way he made the play, got up and moved on. Always impressed me. There to play the best game and get back to business , not dance around like a clown on acid for catching a friggin’ ball.
Who are all the folks on the sidelines who don’t play the game? Besides the official gatorade squirters ? Lots of suits and jogging outfits and others who stand around and act important.
Why don’t the coaches wear the uniforms like the guys in baseball ? And why are they called coaches ? In baseball they are managers… Mangers outweigh coaches in my book. Managers wear suits, coaches wear uniforms.
Why don’t the medical staff have on scrubs?
What is with all the radios on their heads ? Yea I know, to communicate what the other side is doing and make plans and adjustments. But everyone ? I mean didn’t they arrive on the field with a ton of plans on what to do in case of this and that ? And what’s with all the iPods and stuff the players all look at when they come off the field, and sit on the bench, getting squirted and wearing baseball gear?
On the scrimmage line, everyone seems to be pointing at something or someone… I am sure there is a reason for it and I really don’t care… I always riff when they point, stuff like, “Hey you owe me $10 you borrowed from me in college !”.
And for Christ sakes, why does it take 3 1/2 hours to play a game with about ten minutes of actual game action ?
And finally, it seems to me that if you are fortunate enough to get a paid scholarship through college, get a million dollar contract in the NFL, and allowed to be considered a hero on the playing field for several weekends in the fall, the least you can do is stand and place hand over heart while the national anthem is being played before the game… If not, then please go home, cash your million dollar check, put on your mismatched shoes, act like you just won the Super Duper Bowl, get some gatorade squirted in your mouth and shut the f**k up. I for one do not want to hear your boo hoo story bullshit whining on my TV set.
And I still like football… and baseball…
👉 Television commercials. Oh man, this is what TV is all about. Without the ads every 10 minutes, we would not see the weathermen on the beach during a hurricane, or a football being tossed and kicked around in a stadium. And this is precisely why a 10¢ can of Coca Cola™ costs $1.25. 10¢ for the drink and $1.10 for the advertising budget. Well, that is life in the big city I suppose.
How come after telling us on the ads that beer tastes so wonderful and that beer is the purest form of refreshment and that beer is what real men and woman drink and that everything is better with a swallow of beer, WE NEVER EVER SEE THEM DRINK THE STUFF IN THIER STUPID ADS ? NEVER ! And from experience I’ve never seen the people in the ads drinking beer at any of the parties I ever went to. The people I saw were passed out on the ground in mud and rain and vomit while everyone else laughed at the poor slob who was constantly broke and alone and drunk. And after trying so freakin’ hard to sell their product, they tell us to drink responsibly, uh-huh, like that ever happens. You know the people who were forced to add that tagline are laughing all the way to the bank every payday.
Why are the people suffering from depression always seem to be living in comfortable houses with concerned husbands and children taking care of them ? And then with one pill they are able to jump up out of bed and instead of going to work, they always seem to be hiking a mountain or running on the beach ? Smiling like loons that they have their lives back ? Until the pill wears off of course… I would be depressed knowing that I had to take a pill twice a day for the rest of my life just so I can function…. And of course that brings us to…
The ads that tell us to take the frickin’ medicine, but warn us that it can cause almost every side effect possible, even death. Another reason to be depressed around pills.
And then the ads that tell us to call this lawyer if you took this pill and died…
Every car commercial is a joke if you ask me. Why ? Because as you watch them cruise down the highway looking good, a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen in fine print, tells us it is a closed course and professional drivers. OK, then sell the car to the pros and only drive on closed courses. I mean it is ridiculous to try to sell me a car that only a pro can drive that well, I guess. I know it is a disclaimer but hey, it just sounds soooo stupid.
I remember the eHarmony ads on TV with the founder, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, and it always amazed me that the guy who spouts the advertisement is the guy least likely to get a date, ever…
Ancestry.com™ ads were always wonderful about the ways we could find out where we came from, and to find out who we are related to. The lady would stand there and go on about how she found out that Abe Lincoln was her 3rd cousin or some crap. But also shown at the bottom of the screen was a disclaimer that this idiot lady talking was a PAID ACTOR ! Well, hell yeah, makes me want to run to the computer and send $20 bucks a month to them so I can say I’m related to Lee Harvey Oswald. I mean if you want to sell a product, get a spokesperson who at least is genuinely using the product. Honestly, they couldn’t get a real person who found out they were related to Lincoln in some way ? SIDE NOTE—- Ancestry.com™ does cost $20 dollars a month, but has a free trial period. My wife met some Mormons (Latter Day Saints), who said they had a similar program to Ancestry.com™. It is called ‘Family Search’ and it is free. Cool. We went as a couple to a research center, registered on the system, then entered our details that we knew. If you enter a person already in the system and it matches your details you can add their history into yours. But you have to pretty much be a solid match in the details. I entered my family history that I knew of, and sure enough got a few hits, adding a couple generations into my tree. My wife on the other hand, had a match that went back hundreds and hundreds of years. So we started following the connections and we were at the year 1065, then 833, then 422, then 109, we were amazed at the connections she had !!! Then 46 BC, then 1000 BC, then 3000 BC and then, if you haven’t already guessed it, the very last person on the list was Adam and Eve at 3999 BC… True story, I kid you not…. What a monumental waste of time. And of course everyone she was related to was a King or Queen, no common folk in her lineage !
Sonic commercials are seriously the worst commercials on the air. So many questions about these guys that I’m sure everybody asks….
The starving people/dogs commercials… Hey spokesperson, hey cameraman !!! Go to McDonalds and get a Big Mac for the starving people. Go to the store and buy a can of Alpo and release that poor dog from the cage. If YOU do that, I will then send a buck or two your way. And if you send $30 TODAY, you get a free adoption paper WITH YOUR NAME on it to show your friends that you were suckered out of $30.
And speaking of TODAY only, or if you call in the next 5 minutes or are one of the first one hundred callers you get a special deal, ACT NOW !!! And then an hour later you see the same lame ass commercial with the same stupid offer. How stupid do they think we are ? But I imagine there is a sucker every time the commercial airs, who calls breathlessly wanting to cash in on a once in a lifetime super great deal. I wonder how stupid they feel an hour later watching the same commercial.
And why do commercials always have the volume peaked to where the wife asks you to please turn down the volume ? A long time ago I thanked the remote control god for the mute button, and then later thanked the DVR god for the FF button.
Do you or someone you know have Mesothelioma ? If you do, watch TV for an hour and you can call any one of a dozen or more representatives to get the money you deserve, and make a lawyer that much richer than he (or she) already is !!! I am sure it is a dreadful disease and all, but the all out greediness of the lawyers to try to represent you in a suit is an embarrassment.
Cell phone carrier commercials…. enough said…
👉 Reality shows. They call them reality shows but seem to be totally scripted unreality programs aimed at the lowest educated viewers out there. I will admit, I watch them, mainly so I can point out the phoniness of the whole set up. Shows that topped my absolutely unbelievable list include:
Alaskan Bush People. Read my reviews/recaps listed on this website to see what I am talking about. I saw the commercials for this show before it aired and it actually sounded interesting. How a family lives in the wilds of Alaska off the grid. In watching the show I was sorely disappointed.
Amish Mafia. What a boatload of horse crap this show was. The premise was that the poor Amish folk needed a ‘mafia’ to enforce the rules of Amish folks blah blah blah. I tuned in mainly because it sounded so ridiculous from the start that I had to see it for myself. I wasn’t disappointed, it was the stupidest, most idiotic show I have ever seen. Amish thugs ruling the town with automatic weapons and driving around in Cadillacs trying to extort business owners, and threatening others with harm, and blowing up barns with explosives was just too much. And that was just the beginning, the inner struggles of who would rule the town, and the new traditions of the Amish revealed each week, left me wondering why they weren’t all dead or in jail. Absolute garbage.
Return to Amish. If the Amish Mafia wasn’t enough for your introduction into Amish life, this is the story of feckless and mindless fools who leave the religion, and venture into the ‘English’ world, totally lacking any skills or understanding whatsoever. The cast all seem to take up smoking, heavy drinking, cussing, driving fast cars, hitting the strip clubs and everything else that most folks regard as harmful. They continually argue amongst themselves over the most trivial of concerns, and get into relationships that are pretty sketchy at best. And the crazy part of all of this is the title of the show, they never do ‘return to Amish’…
Duck Dynasty. I saw the ads and was prepared to watch as a family manufactured duck calls and related items, and then proceeded to engage us with the story of said business. Was I ever mistaken. Not once did I see them do any work, unless it was a scripted gag to be made fun off. The cast of the show seemed to be a bunch of lunkheaded southern douchebag rednecks who delight in running around acting out the part of mindless baboons. Each episode was a lesson to be learned by the rest of us ‘yanks’ who don’t know better about the true meaning of family values. Honestly, if I owned a business and these morons worked for me, they would all be fired in a week if they acted like they did on this show. Uncle Si is probably considered to be a hero by all the beer guzzling unemployed drunks, who gather each week in their favorite dive bar, to cheer him on in his deluded and meaningless adventures. So obviously scripted, and so well worn out routines, that even they must be embarrassed to show up on the set one more time.
Wahlburgers. I actually like Mark Wahlburg movies. He seems like a good actor. But this POS show is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. And the sad part is that Mark acts like a control freak, out to demean and suck all dignity out of the lackeys that follow him around (who obviously are gaining a paycheck for answering to Mark’s every whim and desire). I actually felt sorry for the Nacho character who was forced to drink bottles of hot sauce at Mark’s command, and be a part of every suffering that Mark could produce. Johnny Drama could win an Emmy for his portrayal of the absolute whipping boy and subservient to his almighty master from above. The whole premise of the stupid show is ‘who does mom love the best or most’ or whatever. And the mother can’t speak five words without breaking into this annoying giggle that seems to suggest that everything she says is humorous. Believe me, it ain’t. And of course the whole show is a below par commercial for their high priced and medium quality hamburger chain. Try eating there, you probably won’t go back unless the stars are there to meet and greet.
Are there any reality shows that I enjoy watching ? Well yes. ‘Alone’ is a challenge show like Survivor, people are dropped off in remote locations, and the last one to not to call for help is awarded money. ‘The Last Alaskans’ shows Alaskan folks living out there in the wild, doing their thing like hunting and trapping, without all the scripted drama. I liked ‘American Chopper’ mainly because I owned a motorcycle and liked to watch them do the builds. The inter-family drama was a bit much, but the Teuttles were seemingly down to earth and I just overlooked that part. I do enjoy watching ‘Gold Rush’ as the Hoffmans and Parker Schnabel and Tony tough out the Alaskan wilderness in search of that gold. I like it for the simple reason that they show how gold mining is done. I’m not saying they are doing it right or wrong, I honestly don’t have a clue, but it is still interesting to watch. Just get rid of the annoying drums in the background and the ever present cliffhangers before every commercial. I did like watching ‘Pawn Stars’ because it was just plain entertaining. I even went to their shop in Vegas a while back. It’s a pawnshop…
Now there are a lot of reality shows that I never even tuned in once to watch because the interest just wasn’t there. ‘Honey Boo Boo’ comes to mind. ‘The Real Wives’ shows. And many many others….
👉 The Olympics. Well I am thankful that they are only once in four years, even though in reality they happen every two years now. Winter and then the summer games are spaced every two years. I do like watching them, but the majority of what I see in the summer games is Beach Volleyball with the other games advertised as ‘later’ but I always seem to miss them. Anyway, my biggest pet peeve with the Olympic Games is not the athletes or the sports (although ‘curling’ is not what I consider a sport), it is the commentators constant reminder of the tragic road every American athlete had to endure to get to the games. It seems every American athlete has left home to participate in the games at the exact moment a parent has died, or a family member undergoes an operation for a deadly disease, or the house has burned to the ground or been flooded or Timmy fell in the well and Lassie hasn’t told mom and dad about it yet. And then we are reminded every time the camera swings to that athlete, the unbelievable and heroic path, under great duress, that athlete has traveled to play ping pong in the Olympics (cue the tears and sad music). And then we never hear about them once the games are over, unless they show up on a box of Wheaties, or in the apartment of a friend, with a bong in their hand getting buzzed.
👉Movie advertisements. Why do they show the short clips from the film, and at the end show the details (you know, the actors, director, the producer etc etc), but show it so fast you can’t read anything… Why bother to show it if you can’t read it ???
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